Reimagining Love

If you’re ready to empower yourself to step into your true purpose but are paralyzed by fear, what-ifs, and imposter syndrome, you’ve found the right conversation. Today’s guest is Shannon Watts, the founder of Moms Demand Action, the nation’s largest grassroots group fighting gun violence in the U.S. Like many of us, Shannon was left outraged and broken after hearing news stories about school shootings and seeing the impact of gun violence on communities across the countries. One night, her sadness transformed to rage, and her life was changed after a Facebook post kicked off what would become Moms Demand Action, a movement of Americans fighting for public safety measures that can protect people from gun violence. They work to pass stronger gun laws and work to close the loopholes that jeopardize the safety of families and communities. They know that gun violence is preventable, and they are committed to doing what it takes to keep families safe. Shannon has been named one of TIME’s 100 Most Influential People, a Forbes 50 over 50 Changemaker, and a Glamour Woman of the Year. She’s also someone who went through an extraordinary transformation, and this is the focus of her and Dr. Alexandra’s conversation, and of her new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. Shannon empowers folks to break free from limits, trust their instincts, and lead with passion to create meaningful change. Shannon and Dr. Alexandra talk about activism and the way it impacts relationships, particularly marriage, and Shannon shares how her own marriage evolved as she went through this incredible unfolding. Relevant Links "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit Fired Up How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age by Shannon Watts Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

We are all connected to folks with disabilities, whether they’re part of our inner circle, or members of our broader community. Unfortunately, there’s a great deal of stigmatization, misunderstanding, and judgement that crops up around disabled folks and their families. Parents of disabled children are traveling on a different path than other parents, and often need more support, but the people around them don’t always know how to provide it. Therapist Amanda Griffith-Atkins joins Dr. Alexandra on this episode to offer guidance to those parents, as well as the people around them. When Amanda’s son Asher was born, she discovered her life's purpose: to help parents of children with disabilities find their stride. She has become a leading expert in helping parents of kids with special needs navigate their emotions, relationships, and parenting, and her book, How to Handle More Than You Can Handle: Caring for Yourself While Raising a Disabled Child, is out in the world today. Amanda and Dr. Alexandra discuss parenting as well as the experience of partners who are raising a disabled child together and what this journey can bring up for couples. There’s so much goodness in this conversation for everyone, whether this is a new topic for you or one that’s near and dear to your heart. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit How to Handle More Than You Can Handle: Caring for Yourself While Raising a Disabled Child by Amanda Griffith-Atkins Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Throughout the summer, Dr. Alexandra will be answering listener questions through Mailbag Episodes. Today’s questions include a query from a listener in Los Angeles who is struggling with her feelings about a choice the guy she’s seeing has made, and isn’t sure how to proceed after a tricky conversation. Next, you’ll hear from Marina in London, who wants some extra support in the aftermath of infidelity. She’s curious about post-traumatic growth and what might be possible for her. Dr. Alexandra wraps things up with a question from a listener in New York, whose boyfriend of over a decade is ambivalent about the relationship and blowing hot and cold. Should she cut loose or stick it out until he makes up his mind? Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s takes on all of these relationship situations. If you want to submit your own question, click the link below. You may just get yours answered on an upcoming mailbag episode this summer! "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

When family members or friends hold views that we oppose, we can feel stuck. These days, polarization is everywhere, both in our culture at large and within familial and intimate relationships. So often, conversations online feel like a zero-sum game. At the same time, most of us want to live in a world where we can have thoughtful, nuanced conversations with people we don’t see eye to eye with on every issue. In her book, Do You Still Talk to Grandma? When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love, speaker and teacher Brit Barron offers us a way forward that goes beyond the black and white thinking that’s so characteristic of this time, while also emphasizing the importance of holding fast to our personal boundaries and values. In this conversation, Dr. Alexandra and Brit discuss reminders and a roadmap for cultivating curiosity, humility, and openness, which are essential when it comes to connecting with loved ones we disagree with. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit Do You Still Talk to Grandma? When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love by Brit Barron Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Connection, both with others and with oneself, really is the answer to so many of life’s woes. We know that investing in our relationships helps us become happier, healthier, and more fulfilled. Dr. Adam Dorsay, author of the book Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the 4 Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love, walks us through this straightforward but vital idea in this episode: that the antidote to the uniquely modern angst so much of us experience today is connection. Sounds simple, right? Well, not always, when there are so many pulls on our attention and shiny goals to strive towards. Dr. Alexandra talks with Dr. Adam about how connection isn’t just about spending time with others, but so much more than that—an emotional state of aliveness and vitality. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and executive coach in Silicon Valley, where he works with high-achieving adults. He is also a resiliency expert and co-creator of an international program for Facebook’s Online Safety employees. In this episode, you’ll learn why so many high-achieving folks feel unfulfilled, even when they seem to have everything at their fingertips. You’ll also get pointers from Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Adam about how to prioritize connection in your life, which will lead to more happiness, stability, and gratitude. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the 4 Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love by Dr. Adam Dorsay Dr. Adam’s podcast, SuperPsyched Dr. Adam’s Tedx Talks: Friendships in Adulthood: 5 Things to Know | Emotions: The Data Men Miss Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

When there’s a struggling person in a family, the system often coalesces around that individual, and while we might imagine these patterns get left behind when kids grow into adults, the dynamic often endures for the long run. Reimagining Love listener Cristina wrote in to Dr. Alexandra from Chicago, asking about how to better handle the challenges of such a situation. She’s the only one in her family who is in therapy, and she is eager to disrupt the dynamic. Cristina wants to stay connected to her sisters, despite the challenges they’ve faced, and her hope is to break longstanding patterns of over-accommodation and resentment while honoring her own needs as well as other family members’. Dr. Alexandra dives into this question with the goal of exploring an empowering therapeutic truth: that when you change your own dance moves, you can transform the entire system. If you’re dealing with something similar, this episode is going to offer you ways forward you may not have experimented yet, that could have the potential to change everything. If you’d like to submit a listener question of your own, you can do so by following the link below. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

In the age of modern technology, we have more information about each other than ever before. Sharing locations with our loved ones can make life more convenient, and while at first glance it may seem like a small decision, the choice to share or not to share actually encapsulates so many of the values and tensions that couples face—questions of closeness and privacy, trust and betrayal, safety and mystery. And if you’ve ever had tense conversations around sharing your location using apps like Find My Friends, Life360, or Snap Maps, Dr. Alexandra is going to help you understand why this topic carries more weight than we might realize, and how to navigate through it and make decisions about location-sharing with your partner. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit Technology Safety & Privacy: A Toolkit for Survivors: Safety Net Project Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

The work of building a life we love is deep and longterm. But along the way, there are small and simple gems of wisdom that can pack a big punch and lead us to “aha” moments. Renowned happiness expert Gretchen Rubin’s new book, Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives, is full of aphorisms that present those kinds of helpful, concise ideas. Gretchen is the author of many bestselling books, such as The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, The Four Tendencies, and Life in Five Senses. She’s also host of the popular podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, which helps people track their happiness-boosting habits. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra and Gretchen use aphorisms from the book to explore themes such as the tension between self-acceptance and wanting to grow, and balancing duty and desire in our relationships. Aphorisms can be wonderful conversation-openers, and this episode may even inspire you to write some of your own! Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives by Gretchen Rubin Abandon the Empty Nest. Instead, Try the Open Door by Gretchen Rubin (The Atlantic) Gretchen’s podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin Gretchen’s website Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Parents of adolescents can sometimes feel like they’re in a tough spot: they get so much pushback and can lose their confidence when it comes to talking about the topics that really matter such as romance and love. Additionally, many parents don’t feel up to the task of talking with their teens about this subject—often because they’re still making sense of their own relationship journeys. In her new book, First Love: Guiding Teens through Relationships and Heartbreak, journalist, author, and professor Lisa A. Phillips reminds us that all adults are really still recovering from being teenagers, and that they bring their own experiences and ideas of first love into conversations with their kids. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra chats with Lisa about how our society has a tendency to demean and devalue fist love, the fact that most adolescents wish their parents spoke with them about relationships, and why a crush really is a milestone, too. They also explore how parents bring their own experiences and biases to these conversations, and often let their own fears and hang-ups stop them from having this important dialog in the first place. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak by Lisa A. Phillips From WAMU’s 1A: How to talk our teens through their first heartbreaks, featuring Lisa A. Phillips, Alexandra Solomon, and Lauren Hamilton, hosted by Jenn White. Lisa’s website Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Breakups are heart-wrenching at any age, but when a partner leaves suddenly after three decades of marriage, it takes a lot of time to pick up the pieces. When Suzy Hopkins had this experience, she decided to team up with her illustrator daughter Hallie Bateman to channel her pain into a creative project, and their book, What To Do When You Get Dumped: A Guide to Unbreaking Your Heart, came to life. Suzy had a rich career in journalism including founding her own magazine, and Hallie is a writer and illustrator whose work has appeared in places like the New Yorker and the New York Times Magazine. This is the second book Hallie and Suzy have made together, and on today’s episode, they’re giving us an inside look at what creating this illustrated guide entailed and how healing the creative process was for both of them. Dr. Alexandra chats with them about some of the most painful aspects of breakups, and they explore the incredible renewal that can occur in the wake of loss, when we are able to accept support from those we love and summon the courage to reimagine our lives. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit What to Do When You Get Dumped by Suzy Hopkins & Hallie Bateman Hallie’s website Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Today, we are excited to share Dr. Alexandra’s recent interview on the Signal Award-winning podcast No Small Endeavor. Produced by PRX and Great Feeling Studios, the podcast explores what it means to live a good life with the help of courageous and impassioned guests like renowned happiness expert Gretchen Rubin, Hidden Brain podcast host Shankar Vedantam, and New York Times bestselling author Malcolm Gladwell. In this specific episode, host and theologian Lee C. Camp and Dr. Solomon discuss insights from her book, "Loving Bravely,” as well as the secrets to thriving intimacy, mastering the art of apology, and staying truly present with your partner. Not to mention she shares practical tools for navigating the inevitable challenges of long-term love. Listen to more episodes of No Small Endeavor here: https://lnk.to/D28Fv3

Today’s guest, psychiatrist and author Dr. Sue Varma, says that optimists may be born, but “practical optimists” are made. Not all optimism is good, and not all pessimism is bad. BUT when we become mired in negativity, Dr. Sue says, we become paralyzed and passive. So what’s the fix? In her book, Practical Optimism, and in this episode, she makes a compelling case for why we all need more optimism in our lives and tells us how we can cultivate it right now. Dr. Alexandra chats with Dr. Sue about the role self-compassion plays in this journey, and how finding your soul’s purpose can help you remain in an optimistic zone for decades to come. They also discuss how partners can explore their unique strengths in this area as a team. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit Practical Optimism The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being by Dr. Sue Varma Dr. Sue’s website Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

“So often we look outside ourselves for the expansion that lives within,” says today’s guest Cathy Heller, a coach, spiritual guide, meditation teacher, and inspirational speaker. Many of us hang our worth and happiness on things we don’t have yet: the dream job, the perfect relationship, the fancy clothes. But in Cathy’s book Abundant Ever After, as well as in this episode, she tells us that we can have the ease, connection, and joy we so desperately crave, just as we are now. And when we can learn to do that, we become ready to receive abundance. Cathy and Dr. Alexandra discuss the Law of Reception and our capacity for welcoming goodness in, in the same way a radio dial tunes into different channels. Cathy also kicks off the episode by leading listeners through a nourishing mediation, which you can return to at any time, here on this episode. "Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit Abundant Ever After: Tools for Creating a Life of Prosperity and Ease by Cathy Heller Cathy’s Instagram @cathy.heller Cathy’s website Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Few topics are more relevant to our day-to-day lives than work. For many of us, our jobs are more than just occupations—they’re where we achieve goals, make meaning, experience successes and failures, and cultivate our self-esteem. So, when work and love collide, we find ourselves at a rich intersection of emotions, expectations, and needs. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra uncovers why fighting with your partner about work is never just that, and shares tools you can use to cultivate intimacy and ambition simultaneously. You’ll learn about what Dr. Alexandra calls “the Work-Love Matrix,” understand the connections between your experience in the workplace and your experience growing up in your Family-of-Origin, and hear a five-step practice you can use today to have more supportive conversations about work with your partner. Further Listening: Is Work Stress Taking a Toll on Your Relationship? (Reimagining Love) Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

When two partners have a major difference between them, it can kick up a lot of dust in a relationship. One of the most common is what Dr. Alexandra calls “The Effort Mismatch”: while one partner tends to scan the relationship for problems and is always on the lookout for growth opportunities (The Change Partner), the other partner holds steady, generally accepting the relationship for what it is today (The Acceptance Partner). The good news is, when both partners understand and value their differences, this contrast between them can be a huge asset to their relationship. However, most couples with an Effort Mismatch struggle to reckon with this discrepancy, digging their heels into their side of the dynamic or wishing their partner would magically change. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores the internal and relational experience of each of these two types of partners, shares tailored reminders and guidance for each of them, and explains how this difference can actually be extremely complementary, even as it poses challenges for a couple. Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Today, we're sharing an episode of LinkedIn's Everyday Better podcast! Dr. Alexandra recently joined host Leah Smart for a conversation about relationships and work. Learn more below and enjoy this bonus episode! The research is clear: how satisfied you feel at work impacts the quality of your relationships at home, and the quality of your relationships at home impacts the way you show up at work. That’s why Dr. Alexandra Solomon wants you to think more deeply about the work-related arguments you have with your partner. Whether you and your partner disagree about how much money you each should make, how many hours you should work, or whether a career is for finding meaning or having financial security, this is fraught terrain, rife with opportunities for conflict. In this conversation, Alexandra explains why, as a couple’s therapist, she has turned her focus towards the intersection between work and relationships. We explore how to be more relationally self-aware at work and what to do when work stress comes home with you. Later, Leah and Alexandra are joined by a special guest: Leah’s husband, Tim. Together, they examine what happens when people with different orientations towards ambition become partners. Links: Everyday Better on Apple Podcasts and Spotify Follow Leah Smart on LinkedIn LinkedIn’s award-winning podcast Everyday Better with Leah Smart isn’t just another self-help podcast; it’s a life compass for listeners. Whether you’re contemplating a career change or searching for your purpose in life, Everyday Better host Leah Smart is here for you. As an educator in self-improvement and positive psychology, Leah brings transformational conversations and actionable insights for improving your well-being. Each Tuesday, Leah sits down with expert guests who use science and story to share strategies for how we can flourish individually, in relationship to others and to the world around us. Episodes cover everything from tips for improving your sleep routine and reducing stress to insights into how to reexamine your relationship with work. You can find new episodes of Everyday Better wherever you listen to podcasts and on YouTube.

You likely know today’s guest, Diego Perez, by his pen name: Yung Pueblo. He has an online audience of over 4 million people and is a New York Times bestselling author, whose books have been translated into over 25 languages. Diego’s work focuses on the power of self-healing, creating healthy relationships, and cultivating self-awareness, and his meditation practice is central to all that he shares with the world. He and Dr. Alexandra discuss all of that in this conversation, as they dig into the lessons and reflections he’s woven together in his new book, How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion. They dive into what it means to argue and disagree peacefully with a partner, the power of meditation, and why it’s important to work with the universe, not against it. Diego also opens up about his own love story with his wife, Sarah. They wrap things up by exploring a question together from a listener in Chicago who is feeling doubts in her relationship and isn’t sure about the way forward. How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion by Yung Pueblo Diego’s Instagram @yung_pueblo Diego’s website Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Are you stressed? According to physician and stress expert Dr. Aditi Nerurkar’s research, the answer is most likely “YES.” Whether it’s due to pressure at work, the unrelenting deluge of news, care responsibilities, or relationship challenges (or all of the above!), it’s understandable that most of us feel overwhelmed. But when old coping strategies aren’t working anymore and life feels unmanageable, it takes a toll on our brains, bodies and longevity. Dr. Aditi joins Dr. Alexandra on today’s episode for a transformative conversation, centered on her bestselling book “The Five Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body For Less Stress and More Resilience.” Dr. Aditi is a Harvard stress expert, medical doctor, and researcher who is committed to offering actionable, practical, and science-backed approaches to reimagining your relationship with everyday stress and burnout. They discuss the solutions she shares in her book, which will empower you to develop the right kind of resilience, the kind that will allow you to move through challenges with patience and stability. And Dr. Aditi also shares her three second brain reset, “Stop, Breathe, Be” for listeners to try out. Relevant Links: The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience by Dr. Aditi Nerurkar Dr. Aditi’s website Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Many of us have cultivated confidence in our careers, our family life, and our friendships, but when it comes to dating, we feel lost at sea. This was the case for acclaimed TV and live events producer Lindsay Jill Roth, who found herself asking what she knew were the wrong questions in dating (What does he want me to say? How can I make this person like me?). So, she set out to create a tool for herself that she's now sharing with the world. In her new book, Romances & Practicalities, Lindsay offers a roadmap for how to understand your wants and needs better and truly communicate and connect with the person you’re dating, through 250 research-backed questions spread across twelve categories—from money to children to chores to sex. These questions help folks develop deeper intimacy and open up about what they’re looking for in an intimate partnership. In her conversation with Dr. Alexandra, you’ll hear about Lindsay's budding romance with her now husband, the couples she spoke with who have used this system, and the wisdom and practical guidance she’s garnered from the clinical experts she interviewed for the book—including Dr. Alexandra! Lindsay urges listeners to view expansive and thoughtful dialog as something sexy, not just vital, as they get to know someone that they think might be their person. Lindsay and Dr. Alexandra also address a thoughtful listener question at the end of the episode, about dating across socio-economic class. Romances & Practicalities: A Love Story (Maybe Yours!) in 250 Questions by Lindsay Jill Roth Lindsay’s website Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question

Conversations about sex are so important, but approaching the topic with a partner can feel overwhelming. When we come up against sexual challenges in our relationships, it can be easy to fall into patterns of blame and shame. Listening to this episode is a great first step as you find your voice and reclaim your power in your sex life. You’ll hear from psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Kate Balestrieri, who joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation all about sexuality and her new book, What Happened to My Sex Life? They explore the importance of creating shared agreements and visions with your partner when it comes to sex, how to navigate retroactive jealousy, and the role safety plays in our sexual connections. They also respond to a listener question about how someone’s sexual history can impact their current relationship dynamic. Dr. Kate’s book: What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist's Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection, and Pleasure Dr. Kate’s Instagram: @drkatebalestrieri Dr. Kate’s website: Modern Intimacy Get Naked with Dr. Kate (podcast) Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question