WHEN DATING HURTS

I was invited to join in an interview with True Crime Connections podcast host, Tiffanie. This was the perfect venue to continue our review of life-saving information like my latest list of warning signs. Only in the past year have I uncovered some new ones worth hearing about. I also shared what I call the "Template Every Abuser Follows". These are important areas to know since intimate partner violence does not present itself as evil at first. "IPV" often appears like "this someone" is the embodiment of your dreams. It's all wonderful until you begin to know the real person behind the mask. Thanks to Tiffanie, the host of the True Crime Connections podcast for this opportunity to speak before a new audience of listeners. And thank you for following the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast. NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can only be found on Amazon. Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following story comes with trigger warnings due to both its content and graphic descriptions. This is part one of a two-part story. Beany Chalfant brought her story to me in an email. I knew she needed to tell her narrative to us. By the time she reached 40, she had never been close to intimate partner violence. But all of that changed with one boyfriend. In the beginning, he seemed to bring everything she was missing, but before long, he was more than she could handle. The story shows us, once more, that having no awareness of the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship makes it too easy to become swallowed alive by an abusive predator. Beany reached the point where she found ways to live with the frequent emotional and violent behavior doled out by her boyfriend. In his twisted mind, he felt he could do anything he wanted. And when she tried to stop him, he resorted to threatening her life and the lives of her children. How does anyone remain in a relationship this toxic for 10 years? Listen to the story and you will see. This is Beany’s story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book can only be found on Amazon. Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following story comes with trigger warnings due to both its content and graphic descriptions. This is part one of a two-part story. Beany Chalfant brought her story to me in an email. I knew she needed to tell her narrative to us. By the time she reached 40, she had never been close to intimate partner violence. But all of that changed with one boyfriend. In the beginning, he seemed to bring everything she was missing, but before long, he was more than she could handle. The story shows us, once more, that having no awareness of the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship makes it too easy to become swallowed alive by an abusive predator. Beany reached the point where she found ways to live with the frequent emotional and violent behavior doled out by her boyfriend. In his twisted mind, he felt he could do anything he wanted. And when she tried to stop him, he resorted to threatening her life and the lives of her children. How does anyone remain in a relationship this toxic for 10 years? Listen to the story and you will see. This is Beany’s story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book can only be found on Amazon. Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of a two-part story with Claire. It comes with trigger warnings for its content and graphic descriptions. I was sent a link with a news segment from the West Coast. The newscasters were showing body cam footage of an intimate partner violence case that would later head into court. The footage was eerie to watch. It puts you right there outside of the building watching a man deny knowing anything had happened. But eventually, police find Claire in their apartment. Of course, an arrest follows. Had someone, a passerby, not called for the police, it's uncertain if Claire would have survived further bodily harm from this disgusting man. The predator who abused Claire had met a target he could manipulate, take complete of, and repeatedly injure. She thought she loved him, and she was prepared to do anything to save the relationship no matter now toxic it became. This is Claire's story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book can only be found on Amazon. Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of a two-part story with Claire. It comes with trigger warnings for its content and graphic descriptions. I was sent a link with a news segment from the West Coast. The newscasters were showing body cam footage of an intimate partner violence case that would later head into court. The footage was eerie to watch. It puts you right there outside of the building watching a man deny knowing anything had happened. But eventually, police find Claire in their apartment. Of course, an arrest follows. Had someone, a passerby, not called for the police, it's uncertain if Claire would have survived further bodily harm from this disgusting man. The predator who abused Claire had met a target he could manipulate, take complete of, and repeatedly injure. She thought she loved him, and she was prepared to do anything to save the relationship no matter now toxic it became. This is Claire's story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book can only be found on Amazon. Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of Cynthia’s two-part story of survival. It comes with trigger warnings due to its content and some of descriptions. You will feel her innocence throughout. She is a trusting soul and sometimes it has gotten her into places that are impossible to escape. Trouble often seemed to follow. Cynthia is not perfect. She has made mistakes. But it seems most of her mistakes have cost her dearly. No matter what Cynthia has endured in life, she managed to remain positive, and she looked for the good in people. This is Cynthia’s story. It comes with a long list of hurdles throughout, and lessons learned the hard way. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book can be found only on Amazon. Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I was asked by Dan Woerheide to join him on his Narrowing the Divide podcast. This podcast series is actually Dan working as a career coach, but he feels everyone working needs to know more about dating abuse and domestic violence. It will eventually touch every life. I appreciate Dan for inviting me to speak on his show. It's a new audience for me to tell what I know about domestic violence. We cover a lot of ground in this conversation. You will hear my latest list of warning signs, and something I call "The Template Every Abuser Follows". I promise you this episode will be worth your time. You might want to listen and take notes. Bill NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of Cynthia’s two-part story of survival. It comes with trigger warnings due to its content and some of descriptions. You will feel her innocence throughout. She is a trusting soul and sometimes it has gotten her into places that are impossible to escape. Trouble often seemed to follow. Cynthia is not perfect. She has made mistakes. But it seems most of her mistakes have cost her dearly. No matter what Cynthia has endured in life, she managed to remain positive, and she looked for the good in people. This is Cynthia’s story. It comes with a long list of hurdles throughout, and lessons learned the hard way. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of a two-part story. It comes with trigger warnings due to its content and descriptions. Alexandra story begins in Australia, where she was born and where we meet up with Michael. He was an artist and a narcissistic abuser. The kind of a guy we lie awake at night hoping our daughters never meet up with or date. The story takes us from Australia to Vienna, Austria and then to Poland where the abuse from Michael turns from the emotional to physical violence as horrible as we can imagine. We see how trauma bonding takes place and it is almost impossible to break free. There is a stop in Sweden where a brief relationship with a man named Magnus begins. Fortunately, that one ended abruptly and finally. We will let Alexandra tell her story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of a two-part story. It comes with trigger warnings due to its content and descriptions. Alexandra story begins in Australia, where she was born and where we meet up with Michael. He was an artist and a narcissistic abuser. The kind of a guy we lie awake at night hoping our daughters never meet up with or date. The story takes us from Australia to Vienna, Austria and then to Poland where the abuse from Michael turns from the emotional to physical violence as horrible as we can imagine. We see how trauma bonding takes place and it is almost impossible to break free. There is a stop in Sweden where a brief relationship with a man named Magnus begins. Fortunately, that one ended abruptly and finally. We will let Alexandra tell her story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of a two-part story. Deborah’s story takes us to places many of us have never been before. She spent time in the US Navy and then the US Army. We go to Virginia, California, Kentucky, and even Afghanistan before her return to the US. Before heading into Afghanistan with the US Army, Deborah meets Scott, who does a brilliant portrayal of being everyone’s best buddy while winning over Deborah’s heart. It here where warning signs are on full display but are unfortunately missed. Upon her return from Afghanistan, while in the US Army, Deborah, learns, she is pregnant with her first child. At this point, the relationship takes a major turn for the worse. This story shows how a covert narcissist can take on many disguises and fool many people. But when a narcissist is called out, or is not being obeyed, life can become turbulent and dangerous for the person being targeted. In this story, we see how Scott handles himself when Deborah is not compliant. We also learn how Deborah manages to keep her mind together when she is put to the test time and time again. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of a two-part story. Deborah’s story takes us to places many of us have never been before. She spent time in the US Navy and then the US Army. We go to Virginia, California, Kentucky, and even Afghanistan before her return to the US. Before heading into Afghanistan with the US Army, Deborah meets Scott, who does a brilliant portrayal of being everyone’s best buddy while winning over Deborah’s heart. It here where warning signs are on full display but are unfortunately missed. Upon her return from Afghanistan, while in the US Army, Deborah, learns, she is pregnant with her first child. At this point, the relationship takes a major turn for the worse. This story shows how a covert narcissist can take on many disguises and fool many people. But when a narcissist is called out, or is not being obeyed, life can become turbulent and dangerous for the person being targeted. In this story, we see how Scott handles himself when Deborah is not compliant. We also learn how Deborah manages to keep her mind together when she is put to the test time and time again. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every survivor story comes with reasons to listen carefully and learn the many facets of dating and domestic violence. This story is certainly no exception. For those of you thinking domestic violence doesn’t happen to people like you, Jamie’s narrative stands as evidence to the contrary. She was a college graduate. A law school graduate. And then a prosecutor in a district attorney’s office near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. What is so ironic? She was the prosecutor of criminal cases oftentimes like what she was experiencing within her personal life at that time. And yet, she was not thinking of her difficulties as abuse. When she realized she was technically a domestic violence victim, she felt guilt and shame for not coming forth and taking the kinds of legal steps against her abuser she would have urged her clients to take. Jamie wants to underscore dating and domestic violence can—and does—happen to anyone in any profession. This is what finally helped her turn the corner on her shame. This interview is her way to reach out to the world and use her story to help shine the light of knowledge about abuse. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every survivor story comes with reasons to listen carefully and learn the many facets of dating and domestic violence. This story is certainly no exception. For those of you thinking domestic violence doesn’t happen to people like you, Jamie’s narrative stands as evidence to the contrary. She was a college graduate. A law school graduate. And then a prosecutor in a district attorney’s office near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. What is so ironic? She was the prosecutor of criminal cases oftentimes like what she was experiencing within her personal life at that time. And yet, she was not thinking of her difficulties as abuse. When she realized she was technically a domestic violence victim, she felt guilt and shame for not coming forth and taking the kinds of legal steps against her abuser she would have urged her clients to take. Jamie wants to underscore dating and domestic violence can—and does—happen to anyone in any profession. This is what finally helped her turn the corner on her shame. This interview is her way to reach out to the world and use her story to help shine the light of knowledge about abuse. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I met "Caitlyn" in November 2009 moments before I gave a speech about my daughter's dating violence murder. What Caitlyn described about her abuse was the most horrific story I had ever heard -- short of murder. It continues to disturb me even now. I was fortunate to conduct this interview with Caitlyn. Her story shows how bad domestic violence can get, but also demonstrates how strong a determined woman can be. There is no person I respect more than Caitlyn. You will soon know why. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast. Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This the final part in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behavior that came her way from her husband. There is so much to be learned in this heroic narrative about a young woman trying to make sense and live with someone when she was not prepared. This is Sarah’s survivor story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behavior that came her way from her husband. There is so much to be learned in this heroic narrative about a young woman trying to make sense and live with someone when she was not prepared. This is Sarah’s survivor story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behavior that came her way from her husband. There is so much to be learned in this heroic narrative about a young woman trying to make sense and live with someone when she was not prepared. This is Sarah’s survivor story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behavior that came her way from her husband. There is so much to be learned in this heroic narrative about a young woman trying to make sense and live with someone when she was not prepared. This is Sarah’s survivor story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Lee Ann’s story part two of two parts. Our interview with Lee Ann, who lives in Florida, covers a lot of dating and domestic violence topics. You’ll hear about love bombing, overt narcissism, emotional and physical violence, and the rise and fall of a fortune made and lost. There is coercive control, deception, even degradation. You will also hear of the deaths of two ex-husbands. It’s all in this conversation. From living in a manor house with a housekeeper, to living on the run after calling in police to break up a domestic dispute, Lee Ann has seen it all. And she has experience at all. And through it all, Lee Ann has been a determined survivor who found plenty of strength and she continues to recover. Lee Ann has never told her entire domestic violence story to anyone before. This is Lee Ann’s story. NOTE: If you want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book can be found on Amazon. Thank you for listening to our podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices